Friday, October 16, 2009

mawiage

It's somewhat easy to keep a marriage together.
Kindness. Respect. Selflessness. The Golden Rule.
Keeping a marriage together has very little to do with love.
It is simply honoring a contract.
To some people, there are apparently several unbreakable contracts.
Marriage. Having kids.
You can get out of most any other contract in life.
Work. Friends. Education.
You can also perhaps get out of your kid contract at some point.
You're obligated to them until they are 18.
A kid can get out of the contract at that time, choosing to have nothing to do with a parent.
Marriage is apparently the real unbreakable contract.
Search the net for the voices that say it must be kep together no matter what.
The voices that say a broken relationship is the fault of both.
But I think those people are the ones who are or who have faced losing a partner.
They are angry that the other person is doing what he or she is doing.
Not working it out.
They want the other person to share the blame for something that might lie mostly on side.
A selfish partner can be almost solely at fault.
An indifferent partner can be almost completely at fault.
There will almost always be one who carries more of the load than the other.
Those people don't know what it's like to be on the other side.
To feel the loneliness. The isolation. Being invisible.
It remains true for any circumstance: until you've lived it, you don't know what it's like.
Even if you think you do.
And even if you have experienced, no two people experience the exact same thing.
Variables will always be there.
It is apparent I am consumed.
A relationship pervades the day.
A good relationship buoys.
A bad relationship sinks.
But the contract is unbreakable.
So I guess you have to learn to float no matter the circumstance.
But how?
Yes, it's easy to keep a marriage together.
It isn't easy to find connection.
Connection can't be forced.
Love can't be forced.
Keep it together.

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